Homotoastual: The greatest revelation since sliced bread

Babs here: 

ho·mo·toast·u·al

 [hoh-muh-tohst-shoo-uhl]

–adjective

1.

of, pertaining to, or exhibiting homosexuality as it relates to bread-based products.

2.

of, pertaining to, or noting the same bread type.

One morning, over a delightful breakfast, Candy and I had a sudden co-revelation. The relationship between two pieces of toast is the most explicitly homosexual bread-based relationship that one could imagine. Two pieces of bread, the same in every biological way, smooshed together on a plate. By far the gayest of all breakfast treats, and perhaps the most delicious, toast is nothing if not homoerotic and provocative. Our suspicions about the precise relationship of the toast were confirmed when, to our delight, we discovered that what separated these pieces of clearly-in-love bread was a generous helping of melted butter. Rather than continue the analogy to something that would make it impossible for me to eat toast ever again I’ll leave that for your imaginative delight. From this revelation a new word is born: homotoastual. Learn it, use it, love it. I imagine Webster's will be contacting us shortly about including this in their next edition.