Uh oh, Candy wants some candy...

Candy here:

Have I mentioned that my local library is magical?  It is.  It's an absolutely fantastical place where I can drive up to a window, and they will pass me out stacks and stacks of books-- and we DO NOT exchange money!!!  It feels like stealing, but it's entirely legal!  It also helps me get my smut fix without breaking the bank, because let's be honest, most smut is not something you really need to purchase-- it's single-read only material.  If I find something I really like, I'm happy to go out and purchase it.  I love to reread (and I don't understand people who don't!), so I have a huge collection of books.  But there are definitely some things that are not worth the money or the space they take up on my shelves.

Yesterday was one of those magical days when I visited my local library.  The librarian at the drive-thru window scolded me because you're supposed to go inside if you have more than 5 books to pick up; I had about 11.  I didn't know!  (Actually, it makes me feel wonderful to be scolded by a librarian-- I feel like I'm giving them something to do, and as though I've transgressed in such a completely minor way-- it's almost like being tickled!  I love it!)  I got home and realized that I had to crack open one of the super smutty books right away.  I've been on a kick of higher fantasy and scifi, and it's been a few weeks since I sunk my teeth into something that I'd actually be embarrassed to read aloud.


Have you read anything lately that you'd be embarrassed to read aloud?  Or even embarrassed to be seen reading?  I know our topic is usually romance, but I've recently been reading some Patrick Rothfuss (high fantasy-- brilliant author!), and he had an experience worth sharing with you.  He is a big fan of Amber Benson (who formerly played Tara on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and got to make out with Alyson Hannigan...), who apparently became a romance novelist when she grew up.  Hot.  I'm just saying.  Anyway, Amber and Patrick became friends, and at a convention of some kind, they agreed/dared each other to read their respective sex scenes aloud.  I guess Patrick hadn't read Amber's book, and hadn't realized how explicit her content was before volunteering to be the male half of her dialgog... Hilarious hijinks ensue!  Watch the video here on Patrick's blog (just scroll down a little) -- I was practically weeping with laughter.

Enjoy, chicklits!!!  Have a great week!  :)

Homotoastual: The greatest revelation since sliced bread

Babs here: 

ho·mo·toast·u·al

 [hoh-muh-tohst-shoo-uhl]

–adjective

1.

of, pertaining to, or exhibiting homosexuality as it relates to bread-based products.

2.

of, pertaining to, or noting the same bread type.

One morning, over a delightful breakfast, Candy and I had a sudden co-revelation. The relationship between two pieces of toast is the most explicitly homosexual bread-based relationship that one could imagine. Two pieces of bread, the same in every biological way, smooshed together on a plate. By far the gayest of all breakfast treats, and perhaps the most delicious, toast is nothing if not homoerotic and provocative. Our suspicions about the precise relationship of the toast were confirmed when, to our delight, we discovered that what separated these pieces of clearly-in-love bread was a generous helping of melted butter. Rather than continue the analogy to something that would make it impossible for me to eat toast ever again I’ll leave that for your imaginative delight. From this revelation a new word is born: homotoastual. Learn it, use it, love it. I imagine Webster's will be contacting us shortly about including this in their next edition.

In which Candy makes a smut list

Candy here:

Okay, so I've discussed my early start in smut, but I didn't stick with the Harlequins.  I also have a dark side, and yes, I liked the vampires before they were cool!!!  Anybody remember Lost Boys?  Between Jason Patric, Kiefer Sutherland, ooh la la Jamie Gertz (yeah, her and Princess Leia were my earliest crushes... please don't even ask!)-- who wouldn't get vampire fever?!  I don't know what it is about the supernatural that does it for me-- but I LIKE it a lot.  Here's the beginnings of an annotated list of some of my faves, just in case you're interested in some titillating reading...  I'll keep posting more of this list as I have time to write it.

• Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series-- she was my first supernatural series, so I'll always have a soft spot for her, but yes, I absolutely agree with the haters that the last quarter of the series has just been bad porn and forgettable extras.
•  Jacqueline Carey's Terre D'Ange books -- Yes, all three trilogies-- these are just outstanding and have not degraded in quality at all as she's progressed.  I'm very impresed.  These aren't supernatural in a vampire-type theme, but they do prominently feature gods, angels, and those who've been granted special powers via those beings.  It's still supernatural-- and believe you me, Sister, they are HOT!!!  Aside from their tingly-making qualities, one of the best things about these books is that they are written beautifully-- Carey writes like Botticelli paints.  Honest.
• Charlaine Harris's Southern Vampire Mysteries -- of the TrueBlood fame.  No, I didn't crack a book before I saw the series (truthfully, the heroine's name, Sookie Stackhouse, really repelled me), but I do think the books are much better than the shows.  (Yes, even though I love Jessica and LaFayette just as much as everyone else, the books are just THAT good!)  I also highly recommend the audio books; although a Southern accent usually makes me cringe (I know, it's so racist of me and I hate myself for it), the incredibly talented woman who reads these makes it absolutely charming.  It also makes the books last a bit longer; otherwise they are over too quickly.  I like Ms. Harris's work, but the reading level of these is a bit YA for my taste (which is odd, considering how much smut they contain... Damn you, English literature classes, for making me such a snob!!!). (Note-- I'm not saying that they're poorly written, by any means, just that they're very easy to read-- especially earlier in the series.)
• Nicole Peeler's Jane True series -- This is a relatively new series, but it is outstanding.  Jane True is a great character because we meet her before she realizes she has any special powers, and get to witness her character growth as she learns more about the supernatural world and develops her own supernatural abilities.  (Jane is half selkie-- that is, her mother could turn into a seal-- so Jane has lots of water based powers.)